Mistakes
by Dareru
Summary: One drunken act can lead to a lot of pain. Yaoi/non-consensual lime scene.


MISTAKES TRILOGY  
By Dareru (furidashi@hotmail.com)  
  
MISTAKES - PART 1  
  
Told from Takeru's POV. Contains lime, angst, and plenty of language. Be forewarned!  
  
You know that feeling when you wake up and just know the day is going to suck?  
  
Yesterday was one of those days.  
  
The first, oh, five seconds of my day were fine. I woke up and looked at the window outside. The view looked a little off, but my sleepy mind didn't register it as something important enough to wake me up fully. Fortunately, something else was. I realized that I was in someone else's arms; I was sharing the bed with someone.  
  
As a matter of fact, I realized that it wasn't even my room.  
  
The best part, though, was that I realized that the form in the bed, with its arms around me, was Daisuke.  
  
The first coherent thought that passed through my mind was, Shit!  
  
I sat bolt upright in the bed, fully awake now. My rear end felt as if something large had been shoved inside of it. My gaze fell across the sheets, and I realized that they were stained with something. On closer inspection, I realized it was semen...  
  
"Oh, my God..."  
  
My memories of the past 24 hours were practically nonexistent. My headache-wracked brain could only faintly recall that I had gone over to Daisuke's with the Kamiyas. It was the first full day of a 2-week vacation, and the new Digidestined, along with a handful of others, were there. Vaguely, I remembered that the Kamiyas had to go home early for some reason or another, Miyako had to help the late shift at her parent's store, Iori had curfew, and by the time my memory went blank the party was just down to me, Daisuke, and...well, just me and Daisuke; in fact, I think I remember calling home to get permission to spend the night.  
  
After that, it was all a big black void.   
  
Well, taking into account the fact that I was in Daisuke's house, sharing a bed with him, having a pounding headache, semen on the sheets...  
  
"Daisuke! Wake up!" I shook him desperately, to see if his memory was any better than mine. "Wake up, damn it!"  
  
"What? Oh...it's you, Takeru."  
  
"Yes, it's me!" I bent over him and looked directly in his eyes. "What the hell happened last night?"  
  
He looked puzzled for a moment. "Wait a minute...what are you doing here...in my bedroom!"  
  
  
"That's what I was just about to ask you." He stood up, still a little groggy, and I realized that both he and I were naked; neither of us moved for a second, then I turned, while he quickly pulled the sheets over his body, both of us stammering apologies. I was still overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation, but...well, the sight of him naked did "stir" something in me. I found my boxers hanging on the bedpost, and put them on before anything else awkward happened.  
  
"Takeru, um...do you mind not looking over for a second while I get dressed?"  
  
I nodded numbly, praying that we did not do what I was almost certain we had. As Daisuke dressed himself, I searched around the room for a moment. Scattered around were my clothes; my shorts in one part of the room, shirt in another, socks in yet another. I dressed myself as quickly as possible, then looked at Daisuke. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, face in his hands.  
  
"Something wrong, Daisuke?"  
  
He turned to face me, a look of confusion on his face.   
  
"Takeru...last night, did we...?"  
  
I took a deep breath. "I don't know."  
  
"I..." He swallowed, hard. "You better have a look out in the living room."  
  
The living room was a mess. A bowl of stale cheese curls still lay out on the table in front of the TV, which was still on. Remnants of a pizza, still in the box, were on the floor. Empty pop cans were strewn around the room, most on their side. So far, nothing incriminating was to be seen. I glanced into the dining room. Two glasses were out on the dining table, a tiny bit of some sort of clear liquid inside one of them. I smelled it, then drank a little bit.  
  
It was actually kind of pleasant tasting, a little sweet, but also...it had some quality about it that was familiar that I couldn't quite place; it left a feeling in my mouth like soda or something acidic but wasn't carbonation. It wasn't too bad, though, and I figured it was mostly harmless. Satisfied that nothing else was in the room, I went on to the kitchen  
  
Out on the table was a small, unassuming, unlabeled ceramic bottle. I poured myself a sip and then downed it. It was the same stuff that was on the table, and as I swished the drink around in my mouth I looked closer at the bottle. Some handwritten kanji was barely visible on the side of the bottle's neck. I peered closer and read.  
  
Honjozo-shu, it said. I had never heard of it before. I picked my way back through the living room, deciding to ask Daisuke if he knew what the mystery drink was. When I got back, he was changing his bed sheets.  
  
"Daisuke?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"What's honjozo-shu?"  
  
"It's sake. I think we have a bottle downstairs. We got it as a gift from a relative in Hokkaido, but we've never opened it. Why?"  
  
Suddenly, it all made sense. I felt a wave of nausea overcome me as I pieced together the missing pieces of what happened the previous night. My knees locked and I must have staggered, because the next thing I knew Daisuke had caught me and was helping me into a sitting position on his bed.  
  
"Daisuke..." I began to speak, when I felt sick to my stomach again. I took a few deep breaths, and Daisuke went to get me a glass of water from the kitchen. When he came back, most of the color had drained from his face.  
  
"So, you saw it too?"  
  
He nodded. "What the hell do we do now?"  
  
It was a question that neither of us could answer.  
  
***  
  
After I helped him clean up, I got out of there. I needed some time alone to sort things out.   
  
My world had been turned upside down in the space of a day. I had gotten myself drunk on rice wine; hell, I wasn't even supposed to be drinking, let alone getting plastered. Not only that, I had woken up in Daisuke Motomiya's bed, and we had undoubtedly had sex - my sore ass and the semen on his bed sheets would attest to that.   
  
So now, what? Do I tell anyone, or keep it a secret? Was last night just something that happened because we were drunk, or will this be the start of something more than just friendship? If so, what about Hikari?   
  
A million questions ran through my mind. There was only one person who could help me through this.  
  
I rang the doorbell and Matt answered.  
  
***  
  
"Christ, Takeru, what the fuck were you thinking?! No, wait, you weren't thinking, were you? I thought you knew better than to do that kind of shit!" Matt glared at me. So far, he wasn't being much help, except in the making-me-feel-like-crap department. "I'm waiting, Takeru! Why did you do it?!"  
  
"I don't know," I answered meekly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, I don't know!" I shouted, fully expecting more shouts, threats, and ranting from him. Instead, he looked at me, and responded in a subdued, almost sad, tone.  
  
"All right, Takeru. I...believe you." He sighed. "But I don't think I can help you. You'll have to sort this one out by yourself. I know it sounds kind of corny, but listen to your heart. Don't let anyone else influence your decisions. The most important thing is, don't try and keep this a secret. It will get out later, and do even more damage to you than you can imagine."  
  
I smiled weakly at him. "All right, oniisan."  
  
"Hey, Takeru?"   
  
"Hai?"  
  
"If you need me, I'll be here for you."  
  
"Thanks." I turned, walked out, and made a beeline for the Kamiya apartment, and I found myself praying for the second time that morning, this time for Hikari's forgiveness. For five minutes I just stood outside the Kamiya's door, trying to gather up the courage to ring the doorbell.   
  
Before I got a chance, though, Tai opened the door, Miko, their cat, in hand. He looked surprised for a second, then smiled at me.   
  
"Hey, Takeru. Come on in. This is kind of unexpected...um, Hikari's in her room doing homework, but I think she'll want to see you. I'll go get her."   
  
"Arigatou..." I trailed off, and could only hope for the best. Mrs. Kamiya sat at their kitchen table, balancing their checkbook or something along those lines. She looked up and smiled at me.  
  
"Hello, Takeru, it's always a pleasure seeing you. What brings you here today, besides Hikari?"  
  
"Well...actually, Mrs. Kamiya, I have some...uh...bad news to tell her, and I don't know how she's going to take it. It's my fault, sort of, but it is kinda personal, so I'd like to keep it between her and I."   
  
"Oh," she said, looking concerned. "I hope it goes all right."  
  
Hikari popped her head out of her room, smiling as usual. "Hey, Takeru! Come on in. I know, Geometry is so incredibly hard to tear myself away from, but, you know how it is."   
  
I walked over to her room and shut the door behind me. I knew she could read me like a book, and with the state I was in then, it was obvious that I was distressed. Her smile faded from her face.  
  
"What's the matter, Takeru?"  
  
"It's..." I cut myself off. "First of all, Hikari, I take the blame entirely on myself, because what I'm going to say was an extremely stupid thing to do, and I'll understand any reaction you have to this." I sat down on her bed, and she took my hand into hers. "Last night, after everyone else had left...well...let's just say mistakes were made. Daisuke and I found a bottle of sake...I didn't know what it was, but...we got drunk, and...we..." I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. Unconsciously, my voice had dropped to a whisper. "We...fucked."  
  
Her face remained impassive, but I could tell right away that the damage had done. She let go of my hand and stood up calmly. For a moment, I thought she was taking it very well. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it, and I thought I heard a quiet sob. Swallowing, she opened her mouth, and her voice came in a barely audible whisper.  
  
"Get out."  
  
"Hikari, gomen, I didn't mean to hurt you..."  
  
"Out."  
  
"Please, just give me a moment to explain." By now, I was beginning to choke up.   
  
"You bastard," she said, her voice cracking as well, "get out of my room. Get out of my house. I never want to see you again. Go back to your Daisuke, why don't you get drunk and fuck each other again?"  
  
"No...Hikari...don't do this!"  
  
I felt, rather than saw, her hand hit my face. It was something that I never in my wildest nightmares thought would happen.   
  
"Let's just say mistakes were made," she said, mocking me. Now her anger and sarcasm took over. "Oh, Takeru, I know you cheated on me with Daisuke, but I'll accept you back, no questions. I know you crushed my heart, but that's OK, because you're sorry. I love you, Takeru, even if you do forsake me whenever you get near a fucking bottle of alcohol." Each of her statements drove a stake through my heart. I was now crying openly. She opened the door behind me. "Leave me alone from now on, asshole!" She shoved me out of her room and slammed it. I hit the opposite wall pretty hard, and as I was picking myself up off of the ground I could hear uncontrollable sobs coming from inside her room. I wasn't in much better shape, and I ran out of their house without so much as a goodbye to anyone, my face in my hands. I had lost the person I held closest to my heart because of goddamn rice wine.   
  
I am the world's biggest asshole.  
  
  
END PART 1  
  
MISTAKES - PART 2  
  
Told from Hikari's POV. Contains lime, angst, and plenty of language. Be forewarned!  
  
  
I thought he was mine.  
  
I thought I knew him like the back of my hand. I thought we would be together for...well, quite a long time. I thought he was smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I thought that no one would ever come between us.   
  
I had never been more wrong in my life.  
  
The word crying could not begin to describe what I did after he told me how he and Daisuke had...  
  
They had fucked.  
  
He was drunk, he had said. He didn't know any better. He didn't mean to hurt me. He begged my forgiveness, and promised it wouldn't happen again.  
  
Mistakes were made.  
  
Bullshit.   
  
I had thrown him out of my room, out of my life. After what he did to me, I was ready to write off love forever.  
  
I couldn't remember much after he left. My heart had been ripped out of my chest and smashed into a million pieces. All I could do was cry. If I tried to do anything, I was reminded of him, and it just reopened the wounds that I had sought to drown in tears. Eventually, I was just too tired to shed tears anymore. I picked myself up off of my bed and drifted into the kitchen. I looked at the clock. It was 6 - I had been in there for four hours.   
  
"Hey, Hikari. You were in there a long time, and Mom and I were getting worried." I could barely make out a brown-and-blue blur lying on the couch, which had to be Taichi. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. My voice was hoarse from sobbing, and my eyes were swollen to the point where I was finding it hard to see. He got up and walked over to me. "If you need anything, I'm here for you. Want to talk about it?"  
  
I knew Tai meant well, but all he did was spark a fresh outburst from me. Tears popped into my eyes and I could feel my throat begin to constrict again. He immediately took me into his arms and I cried against his shoulder.  
  
"Hikari, gomen..."  
  
*Hikari, gomen, I didn't mean to hurt you...*  
  
Another memory brought back. For the first time, my brother's shoulder wasn't a comfort to me anymore. I was beyond the point where mere sympathy could help me. With all of my remaining willpower I managed to dam the flow of tears. I felt Tai gently extricate himself from me and guide me to the kitchen table.  
  
"Hikari, you were in there for a long time, you must be hungry. There are some leftovers from dinner, I'll heat 'em up for you."  
  
I ate mechanically, my mind still in shock over the day's events. I finished off the food and washed it down with a glass of water. Tai sat across from me, concern in his voice.  
  
"Do you want to talk about what happened?"  
  
I tried to speak again, and this time my voice came out. It was barely a whisper, though, and Tai had to lean in to hear it.  
  
"Takeru and I are..."  
  
I wanted to say, "finished." I desperately wanted to get past that boy and move on with my life, find someone else who wouldn't shatter my heart like he did.   
  
"...we're having trouble."  
  
Something inside me wouldn't allow me let go of him. A tiny voice screamed inside my head not to just give up. It was a very small part of me, and yet I couldn't ignore it either. I had learned from experience that sometimes that little part of your conscience could save you from yourself.  
  
However, I was not about to simply welcome him back into my heart again.   
  
"Hikari?"  
  
I had been lost in my train of thought that I didn't realize Tai was talking to me.  
  
"Oh...gomen, oniisan. I was thinking."  
  
"Never mind. What are you going to do now?"  
  
"I am completely drained," I replied. "I'm going to shower and go to sleep."  
  
"What about Takeru?"  
  
That was something I was not yet ready to answer.  
  
My bed offered less comfort than Tai's shoulder did. I tossed and turned for hours before I began to doze, and even then my sleep was fitful. I couldn't take my mind off of Takeru and what he had done. All at once, I was angry, heartbroken, and confused. My mind raced, trying to find a solution to the problem. I knew I couldn't just let him come back to me, apologize, and continue where we left off. But I knew that part of this whole problem was my fault. I had let my anger and sarcasm take me over, and I threw him out of my room without letting him explain his side. Of course, I had every right to do so, but I realized that I couldn't do something about the problem without seeing where he was coming from.  
  
I certainly could have used some of Takeru's natural optimism and hope right then. I resolved to go over to his house and talk to him, just the two of us. I had to know his reason for getting "involved" with Daisuke, and I also had to know why he had decided to tell me about it. Maybe then I could make a final decision to try and work out the problem or leave him for good.   
  
After that, I slept.  
  
***  
  
I woke up late the next morning. It was a Saturday, and I knew that Takeru would be home alone, since his mom was working all day. Tai padded into my room and gently shook me.   
  
"Wake up, sleepyhead!"  
  
I groaned and looked at the clock. 9 AM.   
  
"Why didn't you get me up earlier?" I muttered.  
  
"I figured you'd want to sleep in. You were tossing and turning most of last night. Breakfast is ready, by the way."  
  
I felt relatively good. My feelings of anger and sadness had been replaced with anxiety. I was scared about what was going to happen. I wasn't sure what my reaction would be to whatever he was going to say.   
  
"Good morning, Hikari," Mom said. "How are you?"  
  
"Okay, I guess. I'm going over to Takeru's today," I admitted.  
  
"Really? I thought you had a misunderstanding the other day."  
  
"It was more than a misunderstanding. I need to talk with him. That's all there is to it." I closed off the subject, and the conversation turned to other topics. I didn't contribute unless asked a question, my mind wandering yet again. Automatically I shoveled food into my mouth, still unable to enjoy the meal, still fixated on Takeru and myself.  
  
I took a long, leisurely shower, temporarily forgetting life's problems, losing myself in the warmth and steam. I was almost sorry to end it. Then I changed, brushed my teeth, and went into my room.  
  
I found my favorite picture of the two of us together on our computer. It was taken a while ago, and it brought tears to my eyes just looking at it. He was in a tux, and I was in a purple dress that Tai had picked out just for that occasion. It was the night of the school's Christmas dance. We never did make it to the school, but we did get our picture taken in front of a beautiful moonlit, snow-covered field. For some reason, though, the picture didn't make me unhappy; it reminded me of how beautiful and unique our relationship was, and how much it meant to me and to him. I looked at it for a moment, and decided to print it. I drew strength from the memories it brought back, and I assured myself that no matter what happened, everything would turn out all right in the end.  
  
Carefully, I folded up the paper into my shorts pocket and, calling a goodbye to my mom and Tai, walked towards Takeru's apartment.  
  
***  
  
For what seemed like an eternity I stood in the hallway containing Takeru's, trying to gather up the courage to walk up and knock. Finally, I nerved myself and walked towards the doorway.   
  
Right away I could sense something was amiss. The door was unlocked and ajar, but the lights in the living room were off. I carefully stepped inside the doorway, shutting it behind me.  
  
"Hello?"   
  
No one responded. I could hear soft crying, and realized that it was Takeru.  
  
"Takeru?"  
  
"Hikari..." He was sobbing uncontrollably. "Pl-please...go...away."  
  
I followed the sound of his voice into the hall. The bathroom door was closed.  
  
"Takeru, we need to talk." I tried to keep my voice level, but just hearing him crying was enough to bring tears to my eyes.  
  
"No. I can't. N-not now, not anymore. I wish things had turned out different, Hikari, but I can't change history..."   
  
That was it. I needed to see him, to make sure he was all right, and to talk to him. I opened the bathroom door.  
  
His face was tear-stained and his eyes had bags under them, indicating a lack of sleep. His clothes were dirty and torn and his hair was unkempt; he hadn't changed them since he was at my house the previous day.  
  
A bloodied razor blade fell to the ground from his nerveless fingers. I could only stare in horror at it.   
  
Two thin red lines on his wrists oozed bright red blood.   
  
"Oh...God."  
  
My first instinct was to try and cover his wounds, and the only thing my panicked mind could think of was the picture in my pocket. I tore it up and dabbed at the blood coming from his wrists, searching for bandages in the medicine cabinet.  
  
"Hikari...I just...couldn't live with thought of going on without you...knowing what I did," he said weakly, between sobs. "So I thought...that this...would be the only solution."  
  
"No...Takeru, why did you do this to yourself?" I was crying now as I tried to wrap his wounds.  
  
"Because...you said you wanted me out of your life."  
  
"Takeru...this is my fault."  
  
I caught him as he staggered and helped him out into the living room, where I called for an ambulance. I was beginning to get hysterical.  
  
"No...it isn't. It's mine...I should have had the common sense to find out what the alcohol was...before I drank it. If I had...this wouldn't have happened."  
  
"But it was my fault for letting my anger take over," I admitted. Tears streamed down both of our faces. "I shouldn't have been so quick to condemn you for what you did." I knew he was losing blood fast. "And now, I might lose you forever."   
  
"Hikari...I want you to know that I still love you."   
  
With what could have been his dying breath, he told me he loved me. At that moment, I lost it completely. My tears were now falling uncontrollably, and he weakly tried to wipe them off with his hand. He smiled at me for a moment, the color from his face draining but his eyes more alive than I had ever seen them. I held him close to me for a moment, and whispered in his ear.  
  
"Takeru...please, don't leave me!"   
  
No sooner had I spoken than paramedics came into the room, stretcher at the ready. I prayed that they had not come too late; then everything went black.  
  
MISTAKES, PART 3  
  
3rd and final part in the Mistakes series. Told from Daisuke's POV.  
  
I'm not really the big jerk that some people make me out to be. I really try to be a nice guy.  
  
I just fail most of the time.  
  
First, I thought the big emotional roller-coaster ride was the...whole Takeru thing. God...what was I thinking? I still couldn't believe that we had...did what we did.  
  
But no, it wasn't. Earlier, I got a phone call from Miyako. Takeru was in the hospital. He tried to kill himself. Hikari was with him, and she passed out from...psycho-something shock. They were gonna be fine, physically. Emotionally...  
  
One more to the list of problems caused by yours truly. One more scar to take the blame for.   
  
I went out to the soccer field in front of the school to 'practice.'  
  
Really, it was my way of just letting it all out. Some people hit their pillows. Some people write. Some people hold it in and go crazy.  
  
I was letting it out, but I was still going crazy.  
  
My mind insisted on thinking about Takeru, and what we did. Here was the boy I thought I hated. Then, I thought I loved him.  
  
But I knew that it wasn't love. Just because you fuck someone doesn't mean you're in love with them. He was drunk, I wasn't much better; alcohol and hormones make a very dangerous mix. Thank God I was gay, or I could have been the father of someone's child right about now.  
  
Listen to me. Here I am, thankful that I didn't knock up a girl, instead I almost caused someone to kill themself. Much better, huh?  
  
I laughed insanely, and kicked my soccer ball so hard it flew clear across the field and landed neatly in the opposite goal box.  
  
What am I gonna do? I thought. I knew I couldn't face Takeru. Just thinking about what I had done to him, and how I had changed his life and mine, brought tears to my eyes. Obviously, I had indirectly scarred Hikari as well.   
  
A long time ago, or so it seemed, I was sure I was in love with her. I was crazy about her.   
  
Then he had to walk into my life and turn everything upside down.  
  
At first, I was jealous of him. He was good-looking, athletic, made friends easily, and smart, too. He was making moves on my girl! I couldn't believe the nerve of that guy! So, after we had known each other for awhile, I confronted him.  
  
Or, at least, I tried to. Right after he and Hikari announced that they werer 'official,' I went up to him, full of self-righteousness and determination, and demanded that he turn around and face me. I was furious that he possessed the courage to steal Hikari right from under me! I looked directly into his piercing blue eyes, and the words to start off the fight which would win back Hikari were poised to strike on the tip of my tongue.  
  
But I couldn't. I was mesmerized by his...well, everything. His friendly smile disarmed me completely. For the first time, I actually noticed him. I drank in his every feature, line, and curve. My heart, and my cock, fell in love with him right then; all of the anger melted away. It took every ounce of willpower to force myself not to kiss him right then and there, and I ran off, stuttering apologies like an idiot.  
  
Now, a few months later, I had finally done what I never thought I would to. I had been inside of Takeru Takaishi. But there was something that I knew wasn't right. Love wasn't what I felt for him, I realized. There was an emptiness in me that he couldn't fill, and it wasn't just because that one act had suddenly put a rift between us.  
  
I needed to get the weight off of my chest. I needed someone to talk to, confide in, and get advice from. I was sure no one I knew could do that for me.   
  
Certainly not the ex-Digidestined. I was sure I had lost ten close friends because of...it.  
  
'It.' That was the word I used to describe our 'drunken sexual encounter', to quote Koushiro.   
  
I concentrated the building anger, frustration, and denial in me, and let it loose on my soccer ball. It sailed over the goal post, over the hedge, and into the street. I swore loudly, and started jogging over to get the truant ball. It flew over the wall and landed in my arms; I was startled enough to drop it.   
  
Not one to forget my manners, I called over the wall, "Thanks!"  
  
"Not a problem," replied a very familiar voice.  
  
The school's gateway opened, and in walked Ken Ichijouji.  
  
My jaw almost hit the ground. Of all the people in the world, he was the last one I expected to be hanging around the school.   
  
"Ken?!"  
  
"The one and only. How are you, Daisuke?"  
  
He flashed me a smile, and I felt something stir inside me.   
  
"I-I'm fine, how are you?"  
  
"Lonely. Stressed. But otherwise, passable." He looked at me. "This is the last place I would have expected to find someone blamed for the near-death of one of his friends."  
  
I looked at the ground. "So, you've heard, then."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Aren't you going to condemn me, tell me I'm worthless, tell me I'm all fucked up, like everyone else has, or probably will?"  
  
Ken's smile rapidly disappeared. "No. As a matter of fact, I was going to ask if you needed someone to talk to. I realize that this is a rough patch in your life, Daisuke." He laughed mirthlessly. "Hell, this could be the worst few days you'll ever see. But, trust me, no matter how hard it gets, as long as there's someone else who misses you, and cares about you, you'll make it." I could see tears beginning to form in his eyes. "Remember, back when I was the self-proclaimed Digimon Emperor? I was going through hell. That was my reaction to losing my closest friend, my brother. My classmates thought I was too smart, young or geeky for them, so I didn't have any friends. When my brother died, I shut myself away. I went on the Internet to seek someone else who I could share my pain with." He sighed. "I joined support groups, I met people on-line, I even built my own website just to see if anyone was out there who I could just talk to as an equal. But all anyone was willing to offer me was a kind, meaningless word and addresses to porn sites. So, I delved deep into the seamy underbelly of the Internet, and found the Digital World. There was a place where I could start from scratch, and, well, the rest is history."  
  
I looked at him for a moment, not yet willing to open myself up to someone who had tried to kill me in the not-too-distant past. I knew he had changed, but still..."I'm sure there's a moral to this story, Ken, so out with it."  
  
"My point, Daisuke, is that you've encased yourself in a firewall of self-confidence and are entirely unwilling to let your inner feelings show. Don't try to pretend you're a hardass, because deep down, I'll bet you're not. Look, I know you've been through a lot lately. I have a pretty good idea for what you're feeling inside right now. Open yourself up to me, Daisuke, and I'll help you through this. That's what I'm trying to say."  
  
I was stunned, but my sarcasm, which had always been the one thing I couldn't control, jumped into action. "That's funny, I never figured you for the emotional type."  
  
A familiar fire ignited within Ken. "God damn it, Daisuke, I'm trying to help you! What is it going to take for you to get the idea through your thick skull that I've changed, that I'm here for you?!" Tears started spilling out of his eyes, and he grabbed my arm.   
  
Then he kissed me.  
  
I have never been surer of anything before or since; I knew that this blue-haired boy genius was the person who I should have been with from the start. He was everything I wasn't: cool, collected, intelligent, deliberate. Even his mouth felt like it had been perfectly crafted for me.  
  
He held my lips to his, our tongues exploring each other's mouth, for what seemed like an eternity. Here was the person I loved from the beginning.   
  
"There. Are you satisfied now?" Ken broke away from me, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Daisuke, the only reason I came was because I realized that we needed each other. You need a soulmate, someone you can confide in without worrying about them turning on you, someone you can go to for advice. I need a complement, someone who can help me when I can't do things by myself, someone who is headstrong, and courageous, and has a different, optimistic point of view on life." He smiled at me, a warm, radiant smile that I had never seen before. "Not to mention someone who is damn good-looking in their own right."  
  
I was crying by then. I managed to smile, and he brushed away my tears. Already, his overwhelming self-confidence had begun to wear at my layers of insecurity.   
  
"Ken, I...I think I love you."  
  
"Daisuke, I'm sure I love you."  
  
I understood that I had a lot to take the blame for. I made a lot of mistakes, and needed to set everything right. And I also knew that the days ahead would be full of sadness, regret, and doubt.  
  
But now I had someone to guide me through the darkness. Now I could go on.  
  
THE END  
  
  
  



End file.
